Expectations!

By Nu, Digital Media Expert, foreignertimes.com 1st contributor.

What a word. A word that defines one’s capabilities and level of standards.

I believe that there is no such thing as “no expectations”. Saying “I have no expectations” is an expression to downplay a certain situation or status so the person wants to be seen as one who is not demanding by setting benchmarks and standards. In truth, everyone wants something for their own benefit. Everyone expects something in the end.

I have been putting this topic on hold for the longest time – in fact, possibly more than a month. It’s funny how when you write for leisure you feel that you have no deadlines to meet and no goals to achieve in this piece of writing. Well, as you can see, I am a guest writer here, and The Foreigner has been chasing me to complete it. Without him pushing me, or expecting me to complete it, I would have possibly taken longer than I was supposed to. Not all expectations are bad. It drives you to go to another level and gives pressure, whether good or bad.

Relationship Expectations

Expectations in a relationship are common, yet tricky. You don’t know if you are asking for too much, too little or you are not sure if you are willing to bend over backwards for your partner.

“I am not expecting anything from this.”
Biggest effing lie ever. Everyone has that territorial, possessive side that is waiting to be unleashed. Everyone wants to be “cool” about it. “Oh it’s nothing, it’s just casual, and we are just friends… right?” We are all guilty of that, but it is purely to safeguard one’s soft side – especially for one who is known to put one’s heart on the sleeve all the time.

“I want you to change… be this and that…”
Well, if it’s for the better for the relationship then change, be better – “level up”. How do we manage it? I am not a relationship expert. Go Google “how to make your partner happy” or “how to meet your partner’s demands”, or something.  I think if one has no expectations at all, they must be sick in the head, or there’s just no love in the relationship.

Even emotionally retarded sociopaths have expectations… well in a twisted way, but still. 🙂

Work Expectations

Key Performance Indicators, meeting sales numbers, project goals and delivery… and those terms to explicitly tell you that you need to continuously work your ass hard and smart.

Does it give satisfaction? Yes, if you love what you do. For me, I have been in the digital line for over a decade and the work could get crazy sometimes. Is it stressful? Yes. Does it give me that adrenaline rush kind of pleasure when I have to meet a deadline or presentation? Yes. Am I doing too much or too little? I am unsure. Is it detrimental to my life? Maybe to others, yes, but I have never felt that way.

I have a boss who gives me the vaguest yet highest KPI. Believe it or not, it is just one line:
“If your people fail, you fail.”

My ex General Manager from a telecommunications company here used to give me one vague line as well:
“You better make it happen.”

After experiencing such expectations, I have become more independent in my career path. The disadvantage is I have no one to guide me to tell me what is right or wrong. The question I have always asked myself is “Have I been doing it right?”. I have always believed that once I have made a decision at work, I have to stick with it and make sure it works. Even if I fail, I have to suck it up and face it and go along with it, and not make the same mistake again.

In short, for me, if I have to deliver, I will deliver it to the best effort that I can. It doesn’t matter how, I just have to do it – well, in an ethical manner, that is.

When you are thrown to the ocean, even if you don’t know how to swim, you will do whatever it takes to float. (But you will still die somehow – with existence of predators under the sea, bad weather conditions, and lack of strength – but you get what I mean, it’s a metaphor hahaha)

If I am still “floating”, I guess I must have been doing something right.

And, I have always believed and shared this with my team:
“Always outdo yourself when you have a new task/creation, and that is the only way you get better.”

 Self-Expectations

“I always want to be better”

Stagnancy is one’s path to self-destruction. That sounds awfully dramatic but it is the truth. Setting your own expectations will always question whether you are being realistic or delusional. That fine line between being easily bored or the constant need for improvement.

In my perspective, if one is happy with what they are without evolving, it is going to impact whatever that surrounds them. It is also a good reality self-check, to see whether you are on track with the times. I am not only referring to being in touch with current trends or technologies, but to be able to enrich oneself with new experiences to make one better – mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally.

I question myself from time to time, and evaluate my character, my goals and my needs. Someone asked me once, “At what stage do you plan to slow down?”

I have no answer to that.

We are all living on borrowed time, wherever we are or whoever we are with. We may not be Elon Musk or Steve Jobs who made evolutionary changes to the world; or music legendary icons like Michael Jackson and Bob Marley who touched people’s lives with their messages in their music. But there is a possible glimmer of similarity we have with them – we want to be better, we want to make a change. Not everyone is made from the same mold.

But we can always mold ourselves to be better than we were yesterday.
That’s not a lot to expect, yes? 😉

Til then, Nu.